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re write the work that is written and make this edits
Introduction
You seem to be using “depression (bullying)” interchangeably. They are not the same thing. What you want to establish in this paper is depression among adolescents is a problem, and evidence shows that bullying is a behavioral risk factor for depression.
The introduction should establish the problem.You seem to be using “depression (bullying)” interchangeably. They are not the same thing. What you want to establish in this paper is depression among adolescents is a problem, and evidence shows that bullying is a behavioral risk factor for depression.
The introduction should establish the problem.
Health BehaviorHealth Behavior
Good information, but could be better organized. Try to focus on your presentation of information found with multiple sources in your own words rather than “according to” someone else. Look at your paragraphs and focus on one thing you want each to address. In this case your goal is to show evidence that depression and bullying behavior are associated.Good information, but could be better organized. Try to focus on your presentation of information found with multiple sources in your own words rather than “according to” someone else. Look at your paragraphs and focus on one thing you want each to address. In this case your goal is to show evidence that depression and bullying behavior are associated.
Conclusion
Good summary. Remember to “end with a statement of the importance of developing an intervention to address this modifiable health-related factor.”Good summary. Remember to “end with a statement of the importance of developing an intervention to address this modifiable health-related factor.”
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